Detroit Pi
I don't want to donate the money...
I want to pick one kid before the Christmas holiday and take them on a $500 shopping spree
How can I do this?
From a shelter
Answer
you should look up local women's shelters in your area and talk to them directly about your idea. if you can find other's than you might be able to do your own charity drive, last year my oldest was selected by a highschooler (and her family) to go on a shopping spree for some toys and a lot of much needed clothes. it was just a little something a group of highschool kids and thier parents put together for a few random elementry kids. they went to the school and asked them to drop a note about it and who to contact if they wanted to do it, in a few kid's backpacks that they thought would like a helping hand. i heard they (it may have been the same of a different group) also gathered a bunch of hand me down bikes and had the teachers pick out kids to recieve them at school.
you should look up local women's shelters in your area and talk to them directly about your idea. if you can find other's than you might be able to do your own charity drive, last year my oldest was selected by a highschooler (and her family) to go on a shopping spree for some toys and a lot of much needed clothes. it was just a little something a group of highschool kids and thier parents put together for a few random elementry kids. they went to the school and asked them to drop a note about it and who to contact if they wanted to do it, in a few kid's backpacks that they thought would like a helping hand. i heard they (it may have been the same of a different group) also gathered a bunch of hand me down bikes and had the teachers pick out kids to recieve them at school.
Is it ok to want to have lots of kids?
Q. I want 6. But I want to adopt 2 or 3 of them and I was under the impression that today's society thinks that you shouldn't have lots of children.
Can someone clear this up for me?
Can someone clear this up for me?
Answer
If you want many children because you want to give something back to humanity by caring for its young, it's fine.
If you want many children because you are particularly well suited to raise them well and teach them wisely so that when they are adults, you add half a dozen great people with great work ethics and consideration for others to the world-- sure.
If you want many children because you are adept at balancing tricky schedules and you know that you can get everyone to their rehearsals and practices practically every day of the week-- And if you have the ability to invest time in each and every one of them-- go ahead.
If you want many children because you have a surplus of money and resources and you can provide well for the needs of many children, with a well balanced diet, regular healthcare, and suitable rainy day fund and more-- by all means, have them.
If you want many children because you've thought about all the negative possibilities and think that all the positives outweigh the negatives, and you can find no ethical or practical dilemmas in raising a big family-- certainly, go ahead.
The main reasons that many people object to large families are as follows:
1) The world's resources are stretching thinner and thinner, and I don't mean food. The more people we have on the planet, the more electricity, homes, infrastructure (roads, plumbing, etc.), we must have. And there's simply not enough to go around. If you happen to live in a developed nation (I assume you do, since you have internet access), you may think you're immune to concerns about shortages, but you're not. Your many children will add an additional burden to the system and may actually face the shortages in their own lifetimes that you haven't. This is the argument that you really can't quite get around. People will judge you on this one whether you're doing a good job with your large family or not. If you're willing to accept that, then stick to your plan.
2) Having a large family is generally associated these days with old-fashioned people, certain religious sects, and poorer families. People tend to think of farmers of old having broods of children to help tend the farm, which doesn't apply in first-world nations. Many developing countries are full of large packs of children for similar reasons. Of course, there are certainly many modern well-off couples that choose to have large families, clear proof that the stereotype isn't true. But you'll still have to watch out for others thinking you might be backward.
3) Many large families these days seem to be large merely as a result of the parents being too lazy, cheap, or incompetent (or all three) to implement some consistent method of birth control. In the school where I teach, there are several broods of siblings who come to school with unkempt hair, unwashed too-big clothes, no previous experience of how to get along in structured environments, and they take home weekend backpacks of charity food to make sure they're fed over the weekend. Basically, their parents aren't able to care for them in the basics at all. A few other large families have children that seem to be well-provided-for, but they are starved for attention. Some of these children act out negatively to get ANY attention, and some of these children confide in teachers instead of acting out. Many students do not get decent support at home emotionally or training in how to be a good worker, but it's always particularly saddening to discover that a larger group of siblings has the same difficult marks of poor emotional adjustment or poor work ethic. Mind you, there are a few families with 4 or 5 children where every child is well-mannered, cleanly-dressed, and well-fed, but they're outnumbered by the number of families of the other sorts.
4) Some people want children simply because they want "unconditional love." Those people have overlooked the serious task that child-raising is, though. Those people should get a puppy or a kitten instead and experience unconditional love that way.
You will do well to be aware of the possible criticisms out there. But ultimately, it's your path to choose. Take your time, consider your options carefully and wisely, and then do as you will. It's your life to live, and you hopefully know best which kind of large family you would become. Just make sure your partner is 100% on the same page as you, and good luck with your decisions!
If you want many children because you want to give something back to humanity by caring for its young, it's fine.
If you want many children because you are particularly well suited to raise them well and teach them wisely so that when they are adults, you add half a dozen great people with great work ethics and consideration for others to the world-- sure.
If you want many children because you are adept at balancing tricky schedules and you know that you can get everyone to their rehearsals and practices practically every day of the week-- And if you have the ability to invest time in each and every one of them-- go ahead.
If you want many children because you have a surplus of money and resources and you can provide well for the needs of many children, with a well balanced diet, regular healthcare, and suitable rainy day fund and more-- by all means, have them.
If you want many children because you've thought about all the negative possibilities and think that all the positives outweigh the negatives, and you can find no ethical or practical dilemmas in raising a big family-- certainly, go ahead.
The main reasons that many people object to large families are as follows:
1) The world's resources are stretching thinner and thinner, and I don't mean food. The more people we have on the planet, the more electricity, homes, infrastructure (roads, plumbing, etc.), we must have. And there's simply not enough to go around. If you happen to live in a developed nation (I assume you do, since you have internet access), you may think you're immune to concerns about shortages, but you're not. Your many children will add an additional burden to the system and may actually face the shortages in their own lifetimes that you haven't. This is the argument that you really can't quite get around. People will judge you on this one whether you're doing a good job with your large family or not. If you're willing to accept that, then stick to your plan.
2) Having a large family is generally associated these days with old-fashioned people, certain religious sects, and poorer families. People tend to think of farmers of old having broods of children to help tend the farm, which doesn't apply in first-world nations. Many developing countries are full of large packs of children for similar reasons. Of course, there are certainly many modern well-off couples that choose to have large families, clear proof that the stereotype isn't true. But you'll still have to watch out for others thinking you might be backward.
3) Many large families these days seem to be large merely as a result of the parents being too lazy, cheap, or incompetent (or all three) to implement some consistent method of birth control. In the school where I teach, there are several broods of siblings who come to school with unkempt hair, unwashed too-big clothes, no previous experience of how to get along in structured environments, and they take home weekend backpacks of charity food to make sure they're fed over the weekend. Basically, their parents aren't able to care for them in the basics at all. A few other large families have children that seem to be well-provided-for, but they are starved for attention. Some of these children act out negatively to get ANY attention, and some of these children confide in teachers instead of acting out. Many students do not get decent support at home emotionally or training in how to be a good worker, but it's always particularly saddening to discover that a larger group of siblings has the same difficult marks of poor emotional adjustment or poor work ethic. Mind you, there are a few families with 4 or 5 children where every child is well-mannered, cleanly-dressed, and well-fed, but they're outnumbered by the number of families of the other sorts.
4) Some people want children simply because they want "unconditional love." Those people have overlooked the serious task that child-raising is, though. Those people should get a puppy or a kitten instead and experience unconditional love that way.
You will do well to be aware of the possible criticisms out there. But ultimately, it's your path to choose. Take your time, consider your options carefully and wisely, and then do as you will. It's your life to live, and you hopefully know best which kind of large family you would become. Just make sure your partner is 100% on the same page as you, and good luck with your decisions!
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