just the w
I want boys to think I'm hot. I don't think there's anything wrong with that, I want to know how to make myself more attractive.
People say I'm pretty. I'm Australian, Chinese and Irish. I'm 14
Answer
Firstly, people may say inner beauty is all there is to it - but that doesn't completely help your question. Neither do I think that is the way teenage guys think (my bro is 14 too.) Be thin, wear nice makeup, do your hair, and always dress to look good. Wear trendy clothes, do your hair, wear bright colors. Most importantly look confident, feminine, and make yourself feel that you are attractive.
That said, you will bag the best guy through inner beauty and not through 'looking hot'. For that you need confidence, cheerfulness, a good self esteem and a great heart. And believe it or not (and this was told to me by the hottest, most popular girl in school) the hottest girls are many times the ones with the lowest self esteem. But of course, you can ignore this entire paragraph if all you want is to look hot.
Firstly, people may say inner beauty is all there is to it - but that doesn't completely help your question. Neither do I think that is the way teenage guys think (my bro is 14 too.) Be thin, wear nice makeup, do your hair, and always dress to look good. Wear trendy clothes, do your hair, wear bright colors. Most importantly look confident, feminine, and make yourself feel that you are attractive.
That said, you will bag the best guy through inner beauty and not through 'looking hot'. For that you need confidence, cheerfulness, a good self esteem and a great heart. And believe it or not (and this was told to me by the hottest, most popular girl in school) the hottest girls are many times the ones with the lowest self esteem. But of course, you can ignore this entire paragraph if all you want is to look hot.
I despise / hate this kid - how to overcome this.?
Simgary
First off, some background info, I'm a teen in the 10th grade. I'm respectable, mature, and well known in the school I go to. I may not be a jock, but I can be considered as popular. However, there is this kid that I absolutely despise. Words cannot describe him. I'm a Christian and I do believe in forgiveness and the good in people, but this person is just too much. I'm a generally happy person who makes peace with everyone. I got into a fight with this kid at school (which he started) and I ended up forgiving him.
However, this kid is literally a jackas and a douche. He is not well liked nor popular in the school. He's more of a follower who does anything that is trendy such as smoking weed. I don't smoke weed because its my decision, but I know kids who do it, but I always stay above the influence. He walks with the popular kids (in my clique), but nobody wants him there. Nobody starts conversations with him except for this one kid, and he shares no common interests with us. It's like he's trying his hardest to fit in I guess, but he's not understanding that WE DON'T WANT HIM THERE. It's not even the fact that we hate him for his intelligence because he's not smart and he's also not very good looking either. I don't care if someone is a nerd or not, its if the person's a good person is what I base my judgements on.
Anyways what he does that labels him a despicable person:
1 One time me and my buddies were talking to this girl that I dated before. She walks by and starts a conversation with me and my buddies. Obviously being my ex, I have feelings for her so me and her were talking. She gets up and talks to someone else and then she talks to her best friend which is a guy. The second she leaves, he says You Bagging. Normally, this would be typical teenage behavior, but the fact that I'm there made me want to punch that muthafers face right there.
2 We were fooling around n we were repeating what we saw at the basketball game yeterday, so he comes up and then he says You guys suck you'll never play like how they play. He didn't say this in a joking manner. We were fooling around, but its like he sucks the life out of any positive thing we do. We refrained ourselves from beating the s out of him.
3 He sucks the fun out of everything. We were singing a C Breezy song on the train to a pretty girl and she was liking it to. All of a sudden he said stop everybody thinks your gay. The girl liked it so she started to giggle, but I swear he tries to suck the life out of everything. No joke I wanted to punch him in the face so he leaves.
4 - He thinks he's brolic. I'm no bodybuilder as muthafker but I can pack a mean punch. Went to Marine and Army boot camp hardcore stuff, everything. He thinks he can fight us. Everybody knows that I'm taller and more defined than he is and he's not joking either.
Basically, I need help in controlling this anger without resorting to violence or anything that may hurt his feelings. I want to tell him to leave, but I can't formulate something that can sound remotely positive. Me and my buddies already considered beating the out of him, but we're good people.
Thanks!
Answer
Unfortunately there are too many kids like this. A lot of it has to do with self esteem issues. This is evident from your post how you repeatedly reference strength, fighting ability, and girls. It is normal to compare such things, but as a Christian you will have to rise above.
When I first entered the Marine Corps there was this guy in my platoon. Ski always had a story to top anyone else's story. He was only about 5'6" and wasn't the handsomest guy around. He was build OK for his height, but he always felt he had to say he was better than EVERYBODY! He "had" like 20 cars and trucks back home, had a mansion, had about 100 supermodel girlfriends, etc... One night my friends decided to catch him in the lies. He told everyone that he used to play football for Colorado, but got in a car accident and had to have 6" of his spine removed. My friends decided to catch him one time and for 2 hours I watched him humiliate himself as my friends talked about the University of Colorado and their "football" friends there. Ski said he knew all the places, all the football players. Then after a few HOURS of this, they told him that they had never even been to Colorado and that Ski was a big liar. He was embarrassed and after the sergeant spoke with him he said he would change. He did change after that...for ONE day!
I tell that story because it is REALLY hard for someone like that to change. The only way they can really change is with Christ in their life.
I think Jesus would let him stick around. But don't let him get away with pulling his stupid stunts. Every time, you have to come right out and tell him straight that what he is doing isn't OK. If you can (I know peer pressure doesn't always allow this) tell him what he is doing isn't Christian and Jesus wouldn't approve. Be ready for when he comes back and says you are a religious freak or something.....have 2-3 comebacks deep ready to go....tell your friends what you are doing and it won't be weird. Ex for when singing to the girl:
"Obviously the girl likes our singing....just be quiet and keep the jealously to yourself. You always suck the life out of us and we are tired of it"
and he'll say something like, "I'm not jealous, you are just gay singing to that girl like that".
and you can reply something like, "let her be the judge and shut your pie hole life sucker..."
Then if you want...you could add something like, "The Bible makes it very clear we shouldn't be jealous...you have big problems man".
He'll reply something about being a Jesus nerd....
You can tell him the only reason you let him stick around is because Jesus loved the outcasts like him...
He'll say something stupid....you go back to singing for the girl...
The key is having comebacks 2 or 3 deep.....not just to insult him, but so that he can't make you the bad guy/the guy doing wrong in the situation.
Just keep doing it.....and he'll either change or he'll stop hanging around...and don't let anything that he says that is negative pass....you have to stay on top of it like disciplining a 3 year old.
The other part is where YOU need to make changes. I say this as a Marine for 10 years, both enlisted and officer, and now as a pastor. You are focusing too much on what the WORLD thinks is important...muscles, who's tougher, etc... It is OK to want to look good and to want to be strong...but don't get too focused on it.
If you focus on looks, you'll always be unsatisfied with yourself. This is because there is always someone who is bigger, stronger, tougher, more handsome, etc...If you want to be the best looking...there will always be Brad Pitt....and now even Brad is getting old.
Good luck and God bless you.
Unfortunately there are too many kids like this. A lot of it has to do with self esteem issues. This is evident from your post how you repeatedly reference strength, fighting ability, and girls. It is normal to compare such things, but as a Christian you will have to rise above.
When I first entered the Marine Corps there was this guy in my platoon. Ski always had a story to top anyone else's story. He was only about 5'6" and wasn't the handsomest guy around. He was build OK for his height, but he always felt he had to say he was better than EVERYBODY! He "had" like 20 cars and trucks back home, had a mansion, had about 100 supermodel girlfriends, etc... One night my friends decided to catch him in the lies. He told everyone that he used to play football for Colorado, but got in a car accident and had to have 6" of his spine removed. My friends decided to catch him one time and for 2 hours I watched him humiliate himself as my friends talked about the University of Colorado and their "football" friends there. Ski said he knew all the places, all the football players. Then after a few HOURS of this, they told him that they had never even been to Colorado and that Ski was a big liar. He was embarrassed and after the sergeant spoke with him he said he would change. He did change after that...for ONE day!
I tell that story because it is REALLY hard for someone like that to change. The only way they can really change is with Christ in their life.
I think Jesus would let him stick around. But don't let him get away with pulling his stupid stunts. Every time, you have to come right out and tell him straight that what he is doing isn't OK. If you can (I know peer pressure doesn't always allow this) tell him what he is doing isn't Christian and Jesus wouldn't approve. Be ready for when he comes back and says you are a religious freak or something.....have 2-3 comebacks deep ready to go....tell your friends what you are doing and it won't be weird. Ex for when singing to the girl:
"Obviously the girl likes our singing....just be quiet and keep the jealously to yourself. You always suck the life out of us and we are tired of it"
and he'll say something like, "I'm not jealous, you are just gay singing to that girl like that".
and you can reply something like, "let her be the judge and shut your pie hole life sucker..."
Then if you want...you could add something like, "The Bible makes it very clear we shouldn't be jealous...you have big problems man".
He'll reply something about being a Jesus nerd....
You can tell him the only reason you let him stick around is because Jesus loved the outcasts like him...
He'll say something stupid....you go back to singing for the girl...
The key is having comebacks 2 or 3 deep.....not just to insult him, but so that he can't make you the bad guy/the guy doing wrong in the situation.
Just keep doing it.....and he'll either change or he'll stop hanging around...and don't let anything that he says that is negative pass....you have to stay on top of it like disciplining a 3 year old.
The other part is where YOU need to make changes. I say this as a Marine for 10 years, both enlisted and officer, and now as a pastor. You are focusing too much on what the WORLD thinks is important...muscles, who's tougher, etc... It is OK to want to look good and to want to be strong...but don't get too focused on it.
If you focus on looks, you'll always be unsatisfied with yourself. This is because there is always someone who is bigger, stronger, tougher, more handsome, etc...If you want to be the best looking...there will always be Brad Pitt....and now even Brad is getting old.
Good luck and God bless you.
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